Jun. 3, 2021

About me

Hi! I'm Camryn and welcome to my pregnancy and parenting blog. Some quick facts: I am a young mother of 2 under 2, wine is my best friend, and sometimes I swear I'm losing my mind; I am also a bereaved mother. 


So here's my story.


I first found out I was pregnant not too long after my 18th birthday. I remember when I first saw those 2 pink lines. My stomach dropped to my feet and I thought my life was over. I had just graduated high school, and my first semester of college started in a couple of weeks.


My boyfriend (at the time, he's now my husband) and I decided that we were gonna keep the baby and ended up telling our parents when I hit 12 weeks. My parents were a bit more excited than his. His mom is the kind of woman that wakes her family up every Sunday to go to church, that says prayers before every meal, that doesn't believe in birth control or abortions.... and the kind of woman that believes in waiting until marriage to have sex. So it was quite the surprise when we told her we were expecting. 


Everything was going pretty well, until it wasn't.


We went to our anatomy scan at 20 weeks, he was looking good. He was even measuring ahead. Then about 2 weeks later I woke up to what I thought were Braxton hicks. I was wrong. I went to the hospital that evening to get checked. And it was the worst news any pregnant woman would wanna hear. 


"You're dilating and 90% effaced"


My hospital didn't have a NICU, so they flew me up to the closest hospital that did. After only a 30 minute flight up the road, I had dilated from 1 cm to almost 4 cm. They put me on a magnesium drip and antibiotics in case I delivered him that night.


My boyfriend got to the hospital about an hour later, he had to drive. And everything just kind of stopped for a couple of days. And then on the 3rd night there, my contractions started up again and were in full swing. They started me on an epidural- that failed. They asked if I wanted them to replace it, but my contractions were so bad that I couldn't even spit out the word yes. I wish I did.


After about 4 hours, that I actually don't remember because the pain was so bad (I blacked out and can't remember a single thing that happened), I finally had enough energy to let them replace my epidural. But at that point it was too late. One of the doctors came into the room to do an ultrasound and informed me that he had passed. It felt like the entire world stopped in that second. Everything went quiet and dark. She told me she was deeply sorry, but there wasn't a single word in the dictionary that could make me feel the tiniest bit of okay at that moment. 


Every single contraction I had, it stopped the blood and oxygen from getting through the umbilical cord to him. So after many hours of contractions, he ended up passing in utero. It took me about 5 minutes to push out my lifeless baby. My boyfriend got to cut his umbilical cord and they laid him on my chest.


We spent 2 days with him and then decided that we wanted to get him cremated. We planted a willow tree in my boyfriends front yard in honor of our little boy. To this day, him and I will still go out there and sit, talk, even eat breakfast.


It gets better I promise. After my 6 week checkup, I made an appointment with my OB/GYN to get an IUD placed. I got it in a couple of weeks later. A couple of days after, my boyfriend proposed, and then a couple of weeks after that I found out I was pregnant! My IUD ended up getting partially expelled. What my boyfriend thought were my strings, was actually half of my IUD hanging out of my cervix. I got it removed and ended up having a healthy baby boy on November 9th of 2019. 


My boyfriend and I waited until after my pregnancy was over, and after recovery to get married. We got married in March of 2020 and ended up moving into our own home. About a month after we moved in, I found out I was pregnant- AGAIN. I just knew my OB/GYN was frustrated with me at that point. We had our second little boy on December 30th last year. 


Life has been absolutely crazy with kids. But I'm here to give you guys some pretty great advice, on just about anything. Whether you're 5 weeks pregnant or a mom that has to hide in the bathroom with the light off just to get some peace and quiet. This is a guilt free place where you can learn tips and tricks on basically anything. From getting pregnant fast and easy, to pro ways of dealing with your childs temper tantrums, and even learning how to love yourself and the parent that you are. I hope you enjoy!